tearing my hair out makes it look hot

no you did! i was saying goodbye to you both, but you lingered, and asked me a silly question in your little lost boy voice about buses and trains. but we spoke of her the other night and i was sure my decision to close off the bit of me that's so attracted to you, and to concentrate on how fun it is to be friends with you, was a good decision. you called me 7 times and texted me 400, and i replied instantly, for the sake of teamwork, place making, greater good, my city, my country, and urban design of course. but you said you wanted to see (me) regardless of work stuff. no you did! i was trying to save you the long trek on a sunday evening, but you called and made sure it was on. you did. and no this is not the real thing, the real thing will come, and you aren't it, not for me, but for her, or for someone of another race that excites you because you lack experience in women. but fuck! as i'm writing this, you just texted. i suppose i'm a useful source of london related information for you, you moronic lad. no no no, you're not it, and i will not think this. i'm stopping now...

:-)