Cheatingcheatingcheating (or update)

3rd date with ‘serious’ boy tonight. Serious not by his nature, but because the thing is based on a serious sort of premise; i.e., it may have a future. Thing is, last night i kinda got nekkid with a cute English paediatrician. Yes I know… host of dirty jokes in there. And this was partly because of happy boat race day socialising, and partly because I was feeling a bit heartbroken about the-friend-I-want-but-can’t-have. It’s been tough, working closely with him on competition. It must be a little more evident now that I have these stupid runaway feelings, because I just clam up when the girlfriend is mentioned etc. My smile is a little too sweet, and my jokes not sharp enough around him. So at this point, I’m reliving last night, fantasising about the forbidden, and trying to figure out where to go for my date.
Hope the state of my mind doesn’t pile up in a fatal crash on date tonight. The point was to give this one a real chance, for fucks sake. Grah.
Work now.