it's friday night and i had* no plans
and a functioning kitchen.... yay! i feel a spot of choppingstewingcleaning coming on.
*nope. went to the cardinal after work with the usual suspects.. well the ones (besides me) who remained. flirted half heartedly with boy-number-3-to-be. a woman turned up to meet him. i found out only about an hour after i'd slunk away that she was his ex and a best friend of another colleague's serious-type girlfriend, who was also there. anyway, number-3 hadn't made that much effort, and i think he may have ex-issues anyhow. somehow the portuguese ones made a plan for islington (remind me not to go along with portuguese plans for islington, especially on friday.) and now i'm home, having eaten about a smallish horse, and drunk listlessly. mutton stew would have been so much nicer. glummmm
*what is it that i want of weekend night social trysts? (all social encounters really, but especially the weekend ones...) Always a carnal episode? And if not that, then a comfortable indulgent homey time, possibly with psychoanalysis of Me thrown in. Or, a grand romantic pedestrian exploration of london, or another reasonably easy-to-walk-in city. alone, or in good company... company which understands the grand romance of a drizzly walk in a mundane city street.
*i fear i'm becoming very matlabee about most people in my everyday life. if they don't directly or indirectly serve one of the above purposes, i lose interest in them very fast. calculating bitch, or perhaps age and wisdom.
*it's official - i have intimacy issues. my sweet mad flatmate-landlady, 2 years younger than me and struggling to manage home-ownership and rockin party- girlness, found me home for once. totally drunk, she cornered me in my room, and tried to force much girly-pallyness. she had a tough time of it, as i shrank from touch, nudge and scooched over on my bed constantly, in order to have Space. as i'm a pretty good actor, i faked enthusiasm for her news and our plans for halloween / housewarming / diwali pretty well. but she must have left a little defeated in the end.
*how can someone so tough to get to be so keen to be gotten to? bogglesthemind.
*midnight edits.
*nope. went to the cardinal after work with the usual suspects.. well the ones (besides me) who remained. flirted half heartedly with boy-number-3-to-be. a woman turned up to meet him. i found out only about an hour after i'd slunk away that she was his ex and a best friend of another colleague's serious-type girlfriend, who was also there. anyway, number-3 hadn't made that much effort, and i think he may have ex-issues anyhow. somehow the portuguese ones made a plan for islington (remind me not to go along with portuguese plans for islington, especially on friday.) and now i'm home, having eaten about a smallish horse, and drunk listlessly. mutton stew would have been so much nicer. glummmm
*what is it that i want of weekend night social trysts? (all social encounters really, but especially the weekend ones...) Always a carnal episode? And if not that, then a comfortable indulgent homey time, possibly with psychoanalysis of Me thrown in. Or, a grand romantic pedestrian exploration of london, or another reasonably easy-to-walk-in city. alone, or in good company... company which understands the grand romance of a drizzly walk in a mundane city street.
*i fear i'm becoming very matlabee about most people in my everyday life. if they don't directly or indirectly serve one of the above purposes, i lose interest in them very fast. calculating bitch, or perhaps age and wisdom.
*it's official - i have intimacy issues. my sweet mad flatmate-landlady, 2 years younger than me and struggling to manage home-ownership and rockin party- girlness, found me home for once. totally drunk, she cornered me in my room, and tried to force much girly-pallyness. she had a tough time of it, as i shrank from touch, nudge and scooched over on my bed constantly, in order to have Space. as i'm a pretty good actor, i faked enthusiasm for her news and our plans for halloween / housewarming / diwali pretty well. but she must have left a little defeated in the end.
*how can someone so tough to get to be so keen to be gotten to? bogglesthemind.
*midnight edits.
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