Overheard on several London night buses

She: did you prefer the cream to moisturiser?
He: um.. cream?
She: but moisturiser flows. it's the perfect consistency
He: ya, I guess
She: I like the pale green colour of the cream though
He: apple green
She: oh isn't it pistachio?
He: hmm…. Actually I like the smell of the cream
She: it’s okay.
He: this is the gayest conversation I’ve ever had

She: that girl in front is laughing



He (on phone): well I have to fucking find her because one, she has the fucking keys to the fucking flat and I’ll be fucking locked out won’t I? And two, because I have to talk to Caroline because she’s fucking lost it, she’s acting crazy, man - she’s out of control![Presumably Caroline and she are one and the same]



she 1: so she’s married to him now
she 2: what, in Australia?
she 1: ya, they’re going to have babies now
she 2: what, in Australia?
she 1: ya, Australian babies
she 2: like little kangaroos!

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