they should have a shrugging smiley

disappointment is colourless and odourless, quite expensive (15 quid entry, lots of working time wasted in excited anticipation), and makes you do insane things (phone calls; i fucking DELETED the number finally). yet, if you're lucky enough to have a friend nearby, who understands disappointment, and sees it as a simple little thing, rather than a huge motherfucking ego hassle, you may get a warm pat on the pack, and the crook of an arm to tuck your hand into, when you walk on the South Bank in most inappropriate shoes, reluctant to cut your losses and call it a night.

oh, and i'm disappointed basically because EVERYBODY ditched me of a Friday night. almost everybody. i guess i wasn't pimping a worthy enough cause. or maybe i'm not popular enough to be a brand ambassador for charity yet. or maybe nobody loves me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
What do you resent more - the fact that no one seems to love you (borrowing your words) or that you seem to find that fact hard to live with?

./w
wendigo said…
both, it used to be. but now mainly the former; i've decided to let myself want 'love'.
:)
Anonymous said…
Beautifully put. I suppose this is the natural progression of things. I am still struggling with that notion, struggling to let anyone in long enough to like them back.
:(

I like how honest your confession is. It took me by surprise and reminded me, again, why I come here to read you.

./w

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