sick

it's snowing again. it's different though, somehow. the snow seems heavier and wetter; it's falling straight down. there are no merry flurries at corners were two draughts meet, no driving powdered snow. Just mulch, falling out of the sky. I suppose it's monday in heaven, too.

the company won't give me a few extra days off for wedding festivities. it has to be unpaid leave. they don't care about the perfect bong-marathi union and don't grasp how much effort and time that needs. i made yet another job hunt matrix. there are three jobs on it. all three are 20% over my real and on-CV skills ceiling. is there such a thing as a career hunt?

i received my prettiest christmas card yet this year, this morning from Lucy, at my desk. it has santa standing on present boxes on the front, talking to a red bird in the deep blue night with a crescent moon while snow makes an appearance as silver dots everywhere. i've just thanked her by email, though i should have gone to her desk and spoken.

Starbucks today didn't feel right. i bought a coffee even though i didn't want one, and wanted to ask for a size smaller than the tall. the cinammon roll was large and gummy and jammed my mouth, and the lukewarm coffee did nothing to help.

the southeast is at a standstill of sorts, with french tourists and commuters caught on the dull side of the channel. friends in kent are snowed in, and friends in barnsbury are taking advantage of the weather reports on BBC. still, there's a goodnumber of people at work. why do they all come in? why do they care? why don't they just stay curled up at home and read a trashy book? or gamble online, or something.

maybe they feel like work is a part of them! work isn't the enemy, and work gives them a semblance of self, or of responsibility, of a life. who said 'work is worship'? were they KIDDING?

i feel a little off-key today.