searching for a rainbow
3.30 pm in Botswana, Africa. the sun blazes in the sky, yet storm clouds pelt the parched earth with rain. i sit under a DIY gazebo in a paved yard to catch wayward breezes produced by the squall, as nature itself is very confused today.
an email from london HQ is much awaited; everything hangs on it. well, everything tangible about my forseeable future career. i've been waiting for it now for more than a month, and am beyond exasperation at the clueless fools who don't seem to be taking things as seriously as they should. while waiting, i've read 1 and a half new books, seen 3 new movies, gone through an old suitcase full of my diaries and favourite reads from my childhood (parental home after all), rekindled 2 old friendships, made 2 new ones and slept. a lot.
and thoughts stalled until now by solid issues, logistical concerns, frantic worries about immediate things, have finally managed to trickle in. i've been thinking about Where Is This Going. no no, won't bore you with the details. just reporting my status as having thought the thought. this is not so much existential as honest. not so much my-place-in-the-world as what-do-i-want-to-be-doing-in-5-years-honestly. i've made one major discovery about what i really need to make my life complete, some realisations about my ability to fool people and fool myself also. then some nuggets about what i consider my wealth (my collection of children's books, to be expanded with out of print titles when i'm rich) and my achivements (my fraands).
and suddeny visiting her blog again today after a week or so, i realised i really really miss inky.
thus I consider this home time well spent :)
an email from london HQ is much awaited; everything hangs on it. well, everything tangible about my forseeable future career. i've been waiting for it now for more than a month, and am beyond exasperation at the clueless fools who don't seem to be taking things as seriously as they should. while waiting, i've read 1 and a half new books, seen 3 new movies, gone through an old suitcase full of my diaries and favourite reads from my childhood (parental home after all), rekindled 2 old friendships, made 2 new ones and slept. a lot.
and thoughts stalled until now by solid issues, logistical concerns, frantic worries about immediate things, have finally managed to trickle in. i've been thinking about Where Is This Going. no no, won't bore you with the details. just reporting my status as having thought the thought. this is not so much existential as honest. not so much my-place-in-the-world as what-do-i-want-to-be-doing-in-5-years-honestly. i've made one major discovery about what i really need to make my life complete, some realisations about my ability to fool people and fool myself also. then some nuggets about what i consider my wealth (my collection of children's books, to be expanded with out of print titles when i'm rich) and my achivements (my fraands).
and suddeny visiting her blog again today after a week or so, i realised i really really miss inky.
thus I consider this home time well spent :)
Comments
- Inky