actually

i've had a shattering week. and the expectations i piled high on the friday evening, coupled with my usual naivette in dealing with man stuff very nearly turned my weekend into a tear jerker. at one point, when i was told 'have a great weekend and see you monday?' by the person i was planning to use for therapeutic (physical) affectionateness, i was sure i wouldn't survive till monday, and i would definitely not get to next friday. When i called her to vent aimlessly, a brand new and very nice friend said, when i was nonplussed at my out-of-proportion emotional reaction to the slight disappointment i'd had, that my expectation had been about having a nice friday evening. which precious commodity doesn't actually grow on trees when you're single in london. even double for that matter. In fact, fridays in general are heartbreaking for loose end types like me. unless we plan them months in advance, which is not only loserly but also difficult to do.
So, i kinda put a boot up me bum and set me teeth and walked my feet off from victoria to clerkenwell, met a portuguese cutie who happens to live in fulham, left that party to join 2 girlfriends at a nearby pub, left that too to introduce them to the Jerusalem Tavern (which rocks! and because I took them there, they think I rock too.. heheh). then joined another related bunch on Upper Street, because I didn't wanna go home at 11.30. The related bunch had groomed a singleton for me, they said he was hot, but obviously their tastes and mine don't match much. The boy was a bit pudgy faced, very polite, not evil at all, and didn't offer to pay my 3 pound entrance into the cheesy nightclub we went to. All completely wrong.
So at about 3 I figured I was okay with going home now, having followed all leads and expended enough friday energies to fall asleep. I had another bus fuckup on the way - these are frequent nowadays because I'm just getting used to West London. I resolved to get that handy 24/7 TFL number for pissheads.. still haven't dammit.
gotta remember some mantras -
1. life sucks most of the time. better count your blessings and your one off awesome evenings.
2. everybody's got their own shit.
3. it's getting cold, put on a jacket.

yep, that's the update. sorry if i rambled. ta!

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