filler: a little at work somefink somefink

it would be very welcome, if a workday included carnal rewards for work well done. if hot men leaning against the wall, talking to a senior colleague, who smiled at you as you went by, would scoop you into the photocopy room (excuse me sir, will be with you in 5.. or 45), and proceed to steam up the windows. if every time you fielded a nasty email or took an evil call, someone with large optimum chubby hands came and stroked the back of your neck, and sometimes threw in a bonus lick of your left ear (or right). if after every succesful site visit, you received a text saying 'excellent. you have earned 8 minutes of feeling up time in the very slow lift'. this sort of thing would be very welcome and they should put it in the policy for bringing work-life balance to the UK workplace.

i could easily be fired for being horny creepy and disgusting if they knew about the parallel universe inside my head, in the staid, rapidly filling up with filing cabinets, poorly lit 3rd floor of the completely nondescript building behind the pub.

this was not the work poem from the post below. that's in a diary i left at work so can't post until later. lay-tah!